To Grandmothers on Women's Day

Mom arms. A lot of grandmothers have two generations worth of them.

During my time in BaCoChiEm, I have shaken the hands of the many grandmothers. Underneath all the flabby biceps and wrinkled, worn hands are these incredible grips, as strong as they are grateful, threatening, and desperate. A grandmother may laugh and smile from joy for their granddaughter, but their eyes glare from protectiveness.

I know that if I mess anything up, I have to answer to grandma.

The Ba in BaCoChiEm signifies the fierce grandmothers of Vietnam. In BaCoChiEm, these grandmothers tell stories about their children and grandchildren, but never about themselves. Perhaps they will tell you their age and place of birth, but no more than that. I never ask, because the women who are grandmothers in BaCoChiEm, have the pain and burden hidden deep in the wrinkles of their body. During one visit, I saw a grandmother caress the cheek of her shy grandaughter, as if to try to smooth away the beginnings of those same wrinkles of her little girl who is so eager to be dutiful and good.

Many of the girls in our program are raised by their grandmothers as a generation of sex workers are dying from HIV/AIDS. These grandmothers were often members of the industry themselves and have little stable resources outside of it. Amongst all the stakeholders who want to see the girls do well and surpass the sex trafficking epidemic, it is the grandmothers who have been trapped in the industry their whole lives and have lost their daughters to it and fear losing their granddaughters, too.

As one em writes: “My grandmother sells old junk, but doesn’t get much money from that. She is the breadwinner for our house [of five…]. My dream is to grow up quickly and study well, so that I can make money to take care of my grandmother…”

Grandmothers in these communities have gone to the ends of the earth to fulfill their duty to their families. They are not always the most eloquent or noble of women, but they are, if nothing else, stronger than you or me. They use this strength to make sure their granddaughters do not have to live with the burden that many young, rural women are born into.

BaCoChiEm works to make sure that daughters are not seen as debt or mortgage, and that grandmothers will not be weighed down trying to carry their family across the finish line every time.

Today is International Women’s Day. I want to honor the woman who raised my mother. I want to honor the women who have seen world change many times over, and want to see that change happen for their granddaughters.

We invite you to join the BaCoChiEm community so that we can work together to support grandmothers by empowering their granddaughters.