International Women’s Day...2025?

I’ve worked with a great deal of great women in my life.
Kathryn Power, my boss at the DHHS, helped open the first rape shelter in the USA.
I once volunteered for Jane Goodall, the famed ape researcher.
Last week, I met with Maxine Clark, founder of Build-A-Bear Workshop, Inc., to talk about Em Chi.
Even, my mom won a UN humanitarian award for helping organize displaced Vietnamese in the Philippines.

And the girls I know in the Em Chi Initiative?
Well, they haven’t done nearly as much.

Perhaps it is a bit harsh to expect girls as young as 9 to have accomplished anything that greatly influenced the world. Most of us, in middle school, were probably just trying to get through class and not do anything to embarrass ourselves. Some of the em’s are doing well in school and all, but, as a Tiger Sibling, I am still not quite satisfied with today’s results.

So, I am instead celebrating International Women’s Day 2025, a Saturday that won’t occur until 13 years from now. I am celebrating the day when these girls are not only realizing their own dreams, but begin to meet the high expectations that Chi’s and I have place on them.

However, these girls need good examples, and I think you might be able to help out.

We have been running a small pen-pal program where people from all over the world write letters to girls in the program, as a way to provide advice and support for the girls. Unfortunately, we don’t have nearly enough people writing letters to the girls, and so not all of the girls can participate. This March, we, at the Em Chi Initiative, are inviting you to join the pen-pal program and write a short letter about women you admire. We will translate the letter, send it over the girls in Vietnam, and the girls will write you back with their questions.

If you’re interested in celebrating International Women’s Day 2025, e-mail us at emchi.org@gmail.com

Because it's not about me, even on my birthday. (or is it?)

The Em Chi Initiative (or Bacochiem, as you have all known it), has been frequently referred to as Mark's project. You may think about it that way, and heck, it's published that way (page 31 of Social Impact Magazine; http://issuu.com/wustlbrownschool/docs/socialimpactfall2011). I am so resistant to the idea because the Em Chi Initiative program exists for the girls, and Mrs. Dao and the volunteers do the majority of the work.

I spent this summer working with the volunteers and the girls and saw how well everyone thrived without me. The volunteers were becoming really skilled and ambitious. They are being lauded as innovators and recruited by other projects. My managers are being invited to give workshops and training. Parents and daughters were sending letters asking if they could enroll in the program. Neighbors raved about having a university student come every week to be a good role model. I even had a father beg me to help find a secure place for his daughter for a short time, so he could find a safe place out of the districts.

The program has been a success, but it has a lot of room to grow and needs more support.

I realize that this is my responsibility. If I can't be there, then I better be the loudest cheerleader. I can tell you know, I am 25 years old and then the thing I am most proud about is being able to be involved in the lives of these women, whether young or old.

It's my birthday, and I give it to my little sisters, big sisters, aunties, grandmothers, and mother, for all the love that you have shown me.

I wish I will be a better man.

HOW TO GET INVOLVED:
1) Volunteer: Sign up to help make Em Chi an official organization. We need help with the website, legal issues,

2) Spread the message: Whether it be through e-mails or prayers, tell the stories of the girls in the Mekong. Help shine their light.

people know how strong they are and how they can be even stronger.

3) Become a penpal. If you're interested in corresponding with the girls to send words of encouragement (Vietnamese not required), please send an e-mail to emchi.org@gmail.com

4) Get someone to donate. What's cooler than giving money to let the girls have club meetings, or a uniform to study, or sometimes, just food and medicine? Getting someone to give instead.

The First Year, A Message from Nhu Hoa Phan

[Note From Mark: This is a translated from our Vietnamese blog and is written by our first program manager, Nhu Hoa Phan, who is the person in the left of the picture. If you would like to support BaCoChiEm and our efforts, you can click the donation button at the right]

The First of April is the anniversary of BaCoChiEm. A lot of people have remarked “Why did you introduce your project on April 1st? A lot of people will think you’re joking for April Fools’ Day.”

A year has gone by, BaCoChiEm continues to develop through the passionate hearts of many people to demonstrate that on April Fools’ Day, only the most sincere efforts can come to fruition.

BaCoChiEm began in a really special way: the amount of children was few and it was designed only for girls. The staff and volunteers were all young women. The concept of regularly scheduled visits between the girls and the volunteers was a new concept [in Vietnam]. A lot of people commended the idea, while many others were reluctant and apprehensive about it. To them, BaCoChiEm was fascinating because it kept them intrigued about its viability.

The one special feature was the chi (big sister) volunteers. As “The Eldest Sister” of the chi volunteers, I understood their dreams and worries: “Will our pioneering role result in anything?” I have witnessed them fight, anguish, and rejoice over the immeasurable successes of their little em’s.

Now, I still remember the joy and sadness of the volunteers in the past year, I still see the faces and voices of the sister as a wonderful gift that God gave BaCoChiEm and for me and for the girls. Although still limited, BaCoChiEm has gradually asserted its pioneering role in demonstrating a unique new way to help these girls find meaning.

The concern has been transferred to a trusted hand, Mrs. Dao, and some changes are underway to improve BaCoChiEm. As I have departed from BaCoChiEm and they start the second cycle, I wish BaCoChiEm a year full of effort and success. I also believe the mission of BaCoChiEm and the current and future methods that will continue to be unique and more efficient.

I hope prestigious awards will go to organizations that collaborate and support BaCoChiEm, including The HIV / AIDS Prevention Association of An Giang Province, the Union of Friendship Organizations of An Giang, The Office of Student Affairs at An Giang University, The Medical Department of An Giang and all other agencies, associations, friends of BaCoChiEm.

I congratulate and thank the volunteers for their pioneering role in the operation of BaCoChiEm.
I send my words of encouragement and thanks to Mrs. Le Thi Bich Dao - the new manager of BaCoChiEm. In particular, I really appreciate the role of founding and maintaining of BaCoChiEm, Mark Pham - the boss.

For me, BaCoChiEm is really special in every way: The methods, the operations, the volunteers, the friendship. This is actually a good thing and I want to keep seeing its long-term development.

Now, I feel nostalgic as I sit alone and smile thinking back to the first day of BaCoChiEm.
Congratulations on April Fools’ Day 2011, the one year anniversary of BaCoChiEm!

-Nhu Hoa Phan

To Grandmothers on Women's Day

Mom arms. A lot of grandmothers have two generations worth of them.

During my time in BaCoChiEm, I have shaken the hands of the many grandmothers. Underneath all the flabby biceps and wrinkled, worn hands are these incredible grips, as strong as they are grateful, threatening, and desperate. A grandmother may laugh and smile from joy for their granddaughter, but their eyes glare from protectiveness.

I know that if I mess anything up, I have to answer to grandma.

The Ba in BaCoChiEm signifies the fierce grandmothers of Vietnam. In BaCoChiEm, these grandmothers tell stories about their children and grandchildren, but never about themselves. Perhaps they will tell you their age and place of birth, but no more than that. I never ask, because the women who are grandmothers in BaCoChiEm, have the pain and burden hidden deep in the wrinkles of their body. During one visit, I saw a grandmother caress the cheek of her shy grandaughter, as if to try to smooth away the beginnings of those same wrinkles of her little girl who is so eager to be dutiful and good.

Many of the girls in our program are raised by their grandmothers as a generation of sex workers are dying from HIV/AIDS. These grandmothers were often members of the industry themselves and have little stable resources outside of it. Amongst all the stakeholders who want to see the girls do well and surpass the sex trafficking epidemic, it is the grandmothers who have been trapped in the industry their whole lives and have lost their daughters to it and fear losing their granddaughters, too.

As one em writes: “My grandmother sells old junk, but doesn’t get much money from that. She is the breadwinner for our house [of five…]. My dream is to grow up quickly and study well, so that I can make money to take care of my grandmother…”

Grandmothers in these communities have gone to the ends of the earth to fulfill their duty to their families. They are not always the most eloquent or noble of women, but they are, if nothing else, stronger than you or me. They use this strength to make sure their granddaughters do not have to live with the burden that many young, rural women are born into.

BaCoChiEm works to make sure that daughters are not seen as debt or mortgage, and that grandmothers will not be weighed down trying to carry their family across the finish line every time.

Today is International Women’s Day. I want to honor the woman who raised my mother. I want to honor the women who have seen world change many times over, and want to see that change happen for their granddaughters.

We invite you to join the BaCoChiEm community so that we can work together to support grandmothers by empowering their granddaughters.

The Kinda Big Sister

“Don’t do this work with your emotions," I told her, "Your heart is not practical with these matters.”

Nguyet looked away from me to think it through.

“But that's so cold-hearted,” she replied.

Later that day, she went to the manager, Nhu Hoa, to discuss it, but Hoa had heard it from half the volunteers already.

“They think you emphasize ‘roles’ too much.” Hoa reported to me. “They think you don’t have any feelings and that you can’t sympathize with people.”

I looked away from her to think it through.

Being the older sibling in a family system isn’t always easy.

However, Ba-Co-Chi-Em is about filling and modeling these roles for girls at risk. Nguyet was so caring, sincere, and vulnerable that I wonder how she could be an effective chi (big sister). I was so eager to make this a sustainable, replicable project, how could I be a more caring, thoughtful anh (big brother)?

The first week Nguyet showed up to the homes of her two assigned em’s (little sisters), she came back to tell me that she also agreed to tutor two more siblings and three neighborhood kids.

I quickly slapped my palm to my forehead.

Through our Google Doc Diaries system, I have been keeping up with Nguyet’s progress with her two em’s. One, Trinh*, is a really sweet eight-year-old girl who lives in a cramped, complicated neighborhood. The other, Khuyen*, is a 15-year-old who is really eager to just quit high school and get some work. [*names changed]

It was difficult for Hoa to get the chi volunteers to understand how to rely on their sensibilities rather than their sympathies. Nguyet wants to so badly help everyone, that it took her a while to understand the reasoning behind the limitations I put forth for everyone. These limitations define the difference between being a tutor or a friend to being a big sister.

At the start of the relationship, Nguyet is just some stranger unfamiliar to her little em as much as the neighbors. Only with the limitations does she become that big sister to Khuyen and Trinh.

The big sister who, after five months together, gets to hear her little sister, Khuyen, say “I really like telling you about school. Day by day, I get to tell you more and now I really want to go to school.”

The big sister who gets to see Khuyen write a letter requesting a scholarship from me, so she can finally take personal ownership over her own education.

The big sister who visits Trinh’s block during a blackout. As Nguyet describes it, “The neighbors gathered together in candlelight. It made me feel really warm”.

Ba-Co-Chi-Em is about building partnerships with families and neighborhoods, but that all starts with the bond between the little em and the big chi.

As proud I am of the little em’s for perservering and committing, I can’t say enough of about the 15 chi volunteers of Team Nen Hong :

Thank you to Kieu, Huynh Mai, Mai, Thao Em, Thoa, Loan, Nguyet, Quyen, Nhu Huynh, Chau, Hue, Ngan, Vui, Au, Kim Anh, and the Biggest Sister Nhu Hoa.

Without you, this simply doesn’t work.

**To find out how to support the next team of chi volunteers, please contact markbpham@gmail.com or you can send a direct donation by clicking below.

Losing the game

Bacochiem is built on a foundation of hope and optimism. Social traps are hazardous, and a girl can be sold into sex trafficking just because her family and neighbors don’t think that it's not such a bad thing to sell your daughter off like that. Bacochiem operates under the belief that these girls must have a desire to aspire and also the means to fulfill those aspirations. Still, we have to be honest. Of the over 30 girls we work with, we won’t succeed with every each one.

Today, I want to share to you about one such loss and that feeling when you know the momentum in the struggle is slipping from your hands.

#1. Tien* (name changed)

Tien is one of four em’s that are 15 years old and should be in high school now. I am generally impressed that she made it past middle school, but she is a bit of a nerd. She struggles in one subject, but she receives frequent commendations from her school for high achievement in other subjects.

As is the case with nearly all the households in our program, the mother has a history with work in the red lights. She lives with her mother and her stepfather in a duplex hut hidden in the riverside alleyways of the Long Xuyen. It is really hard to understand who else in the house is related to her, because these neighborhoods are so chaotic and fluid that the flow of people is difficult to track. When I visited, it appeared that the other house was full of the younger female relatives who were “still in the industry”.

Her mother has quit working. When prompted for her reasons, she pulls out a very recent doctor’s note that diagnoses her with “kidney water retention”. The stepfather and mother have fights that last up to a week, to the point he will come home from work many times a day just to continue arguing.

Besides her illness, Tien’s mother accrues a lot of debt and pays her debt by borrowing from others at a higher interest. This policy also applies to Tien’s tuition. The school loaned the money to the mother, but it only added to this pile of debt that the mother seems to assume will just go away someday [note: you might guess what her willing and rapid accumulation of debt may be foreshadowing].

Tien’s school is willing to start again with her and forgive the previous loans. Tien’s homeroom teacher has even made house visits to discuss Tien’s frequent absence. Alas, Tien’s mother just makes empty promises and encouragement in front of the teacher and in front of us. I begin to think that she allowed Tien to join Bacochiem because she thought she could get money from us. I begin to question the doctor’s note. I begin to question if Tien can succeed if she is living in this environment.

I asked Tien to write me a letter to tell me her personal ambitions and motivations. When Nhu Hoa, the program manager, asked her what she wanted in her life, she could only think of working to help her mother. Her stepsister next door says it’s pointless for her to study when Tien can just say home and take care of the house and the little children.

As Nhu Hoa left their house, Tien biked alongside and kept pestering Nhu Hoa. Tien was so afraid to let her family choose her work, she inadvertently ended up biking over a kilometer just to try to convince Nhu Hoa to help her find a job. We wonder if we wasted five months of trying to undo 15 years of everything she's been taught.

This was September, and Tien has now decided to drop out of school completely. Ngan, her chi volunteer, has agreed to continue to mentor Tien as a way of keeping tabs on her life to see where she goes. We hold onto the hope that she will at least pursue vocational school, but pressure from her family to not stay in school is high.

We eventually have to make the decision that we cannot invest too much of our resources to fight for Tien. We concede to the market forces still more powerful than us.

I highlighted our one failure in the program. Overall, our program is accomplishing amazing things in neighborhoods, classrooms, and in these girls (Both chi and em). We admit our shortcomings because these hardships make us more prepared and informed. It also shows that we need your help.

As always if you have a skill or talent, please contact us. Anything can be used, from Googling skills, you’re good at Facebooking, you’re an accountant. Almost anything. Of course, we always need small donations to help fund these girls' educations and our mentoring services.

Thank you for your support of Bacochiem. Remember, a girl’s worth has no price.

The Megaphone - " 1 Loa Tay"

We bought a megaphone for a camping trip. If I had enough money, I might buy one for each girl. Alas, I realize there are better ways to give these girls a stronger voice.

The Bacochiem project embarked to Phu Sa Recreational Park in Can Tho City for the inaugural outdoor excursion. After months of one-on-one work, this would mark the first occasion where everyone in the project meet for a day of games and friendship.

All in all, it was an incredibly silly, fun-filled day. It began at 5am, with over 30 em's getting on the bus, 15 Chi volunteers from the "Flower Petal" group, Chi Hoa (the program manager), Chi Phung the liaison from the HIV/AIDS Prevention Association that houses our project), her two boys, and a great friend of the organization Chi Giang.

I wasn't there. So rather than describe the day, I'll let a volunteer from the "Flower Petal" group describe what their thoughts. (I translated these, so excuse the occasional awkwardness]

"I can see that everyone in our group used up all their energy to prepare for this event and to ensure that we could communicate our message to the em's" - Ngan

For Bacochiem, this was the first day of a long month of convincing these girls to commit to school for the upcoming year and for years to come. For many children around the world (especially industrialized nations), a free education would be enough incentive to at the very least try to attend. These girls don't have a free education. Even if tuition is covered, the family considers them a burden if they aren't contributing to the household income.

The perception of girls as a burden that should be sold off as a commodity is a common perspective in certain blocks. The dangerous part is that the perception is often held by the girls themselves.

In this year, we are working hard to fight this view and help these girls find a road that empowers them to leave the red light behind them.

This blog will keep track of the many stories of the volunteers and the girls themselves throughout the school year as we prevent sexual exploitation before it ever begins.

Please support us.

If you would like to make a donation, please contact Mark at markbpham@gmail.com.